Chris and Fat John’s ten questions you need to know before you die!

1: Why are the tops of waves white and why does the sea taste salty?

It’s because God is a wanker. Literally.

2: Why did god create us?

It’s because he has the intellectual capacity of a crippled sea slug.

Or it’s because he is a disgusting pervert who wants to watch people have sex. Rather like me…

3: Why are the good sites on the Internet always 18+?

It’s because the people who make them think that people under 18 don’t know where the clitoris is (MUM! What’s a clitoris???)

Or it could be that they are self-centred ass holes that like watching us young people suffer.

4: Why haven’t the sluts known to under 8 year olds known as the Spaz… er, I mean Spice Girls died yet?

Because life is soooooooo unfair, sob, sob. (NOTE: If they don’t die within the next year, you’ll find me hanging from the light in my room…)

5: Why do girls call us immature when they joke and giggle behind our backs?

Because they don’t get the same feeling of fulfilment from masturbation.

6: Why do old members of the opposite sex think we like them?

It is because of the lack of sexual activity for a considerably large amount of time. (about 50 years!)

7: Why do girls always talk about fashion? But when they go out they look like £5 sluts!

It is because they are £5 sluts.

8: Why don’t girls swallow?

It is because salt in large quantities is bad for you.

9: Why is everything a conspiracy?

Because the government is filled with a bunch of boner biting ass wipes. VIVE L’ANARCHIE!

10: Why did we write this?

We wrote this because we are a couple of sex deprived losers!

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